i feel guilty for not picking up your calls - i just can't handle talking to you anymore (i think)

i just..don't know who you are anymore.

are you the person that everyone thinks you are? or are you the one who held my hand as we jumped off the ledge? or was that just a lie..?

perhaps this was all a grand scheme to you, maybe i was just another prop at your disposal..

& now i find myself doubting everything about us.

this is what it has resorted too..

last days. it was our last class ever. & although i said i would never miss this, i found out that was a lie too.. i'll miss this. miss seeing familiar faces that i've become accquainted to for 6 years, miss high school. too many tears today, because i realised, i wont see these people ever again. & that people whom i thought didnt matter anymore - still do. that i'll miss. ugh i cant explain it. i'll just miss..people. get it? (doubt it, cause i barely do).

goodbye is becoming too hard.

note to self: find waterproof eyeliner.