I am a mixture of what everyone thinks of me, what I try to be and what I am. Sometimes I'll tell people, or myself that I'm not really what everyone thinks of me to reassure myself that somewhere in this body there is still a heart. That there is a nice girl somewhere. But along the way of reaching my goals, I have actually lost the true essence of who I am. Reassured myself that it was change but never opened my eyes that nothing had changed, only lost. Now I have no remnants of who I am, who I want to be. Sometimes I wake up and think that this is all a lie that I'm a sham. A con artist. Fuck. And the addictive personality? Perhaps I like those habits because without them that is one less thing I know about myself. Are you worried? Don't be. You made me this way, don't you know?